Work was very stressful the past few years. Too much to do and not enough time and resources to get them done. Working 50+ hours a week was my normal, but I was making a great salary and bonuses, so I really couldn't complain could I? It turns out that I should have. My blood pressure, blood sugar and weight were all going up. At the end of the day and on weekends I was so emotionally drained that I barely moved. On the outside I was driven and successful. On the inside I was dying and headed straight for a stroke or heart attack.
The end of the line happened in February of this year. It doesn't matter what the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was. It only matters that it happened and I knew I had to leave the job. What was a 49 year old girl with no college degree supposed to do? I looked for jobs in the same field daily. I must have applied for at least 10 jobs every week, but with no results. Everyday my co-workers saw the dissatisfaction on my face and I grew angrier with myself for staying at one company for too long.
All my life I knew I was meant to help people, but those jobs don't usually pay well and I was a single mother with a daughter to raise. Well, my daughter is now an adult working on her Masters degree so that was no longer an excuse. But I had grown accustomed to my 1 to 2 cruises a year and not living from paycheck to paycheck as I had done after the divorce. So I had to dig deep inside to see what needed to be done. As I continued to pray for a way out, one day I saw a beautiful field of flowers along the expressway. They thrived and bloomed in the midst of concrete and exhaust fumes. It reminded me of one of my favorite Bible passages.
Don't Worry, Matthew 6:28-33
28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If
that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and
tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you
of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
The office environment was not going to change. It had only gotten worse every year. God was not going to magically lift me out of the job and place me in a new stress free job with the same pay. No, I would have to walk out on my own knowing that I had honored God and our relationship through the good times and the bad. I would have to leave knowing that He knew my true heart's intention to live a life where I would touch people's lives in a significant way. I would have to leave the job with both eyes closed. Stepping out on Faith into the unknown and trust that God would make it all turn out right.
To Be Continued.....
To Be Continued.....
