Keeping Your Joy in the Meantime

Last night I had a straight up hissy fit.  I had not been so worked in a very long time.  I was venting, making declarations and there were a few curse words involved.  You see, I had just learned that I may not be able to get my transcripts from massage school until after the director goes on and returns from a 28 day trip.  I was told this by people who were laughing at the same time, but it was the second time that I had heard it.   So I don’t know if it is true or not.   Many people take me as mild mannered.  The truth is that I have had some knocks in this world and can be quite combative if the situation calls for it.  However, my faith, keeps that in check.  If I call myself a Christian, how can I get up in blow up in someone’s face and curse them out.  Well, I can’t.  If I had kept pushing about the transcript last night, the fighter in me was going to come out.  So I just left the building with my massage school bestie, Paul, and made him listen to my tirade in the parking lot in the cold.  But he likes cold so he was fine.  

It’s just a transcript, you may say.  Well, I quit a good paying job, and spent thousands of dollars on massage school, setting up my LLC, creating my website, taking extra training and passing the Massage Board License exam early so that I could get my license and start practicing straight out of school.  In order to do that, I must turn in my massage school transcript to the state with my license application.   My business, Synergy BodyWoRx LLC, is set to launch in January.  It says so on the business website, Facebook, twitter and YouTube channel.  That is what I told all the people I have massaged that wanted to see me again.  I am touring an office building tomorrow to possibly rent for the January opening.  If my transcript is delayed until the middle of January, my application to the state and subsequent license issuance, won’t take place until the beginning of February.  I NEED my transcript!  Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that I needed to just wait the 10 days it takes for a transcript to be processed and then see if I get it or not.  If not, I would call the other owner of the school to see if someone else could sign.  

This morning I kept my promise to myself to go to 8am service instead of my regular noon attendance.  (Successful business people are early risers, or so that say).  Thank God for my church, St. John’s Downtown.  Soon I was lost in the service.  The choir sang “Stand” by Donnie McClurkin and I realized that this entire episode was my control issues surfacing again.  My plan, my plan, my plan….   If I am a Christian, this life is not about my plan but God’s plan.  Yes, I can make preparations, but this life is messy and unpredictable.  The biggest lesson I am learning in my mid-life career change is that I need to learn to be able to roll with the punches AND keep my faith.  If the people at school were kidding with me, or not, it didn’t matter. I will get my license when the time comes and I will simply stand until that time.

That would have been enough and then comes Reverend CJ with the message on JOY.  The title was the title of this blog post "Keeping Your Joy in The Meantime".  The reference was Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  She preached on how true joy is based on our knowledge of God and knowing Him for who He is, not just what He does for you.  Hebrews 12:2 says, " looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”.  Jesus had to get through beatings, the long walk to Calgary and His crucifixion on the cross on Friday before He could experience the joy of rising on Sunday and then returning to the Father.  Reverend CJ pointed out that many of us would have gotten stuck in the pain of Friday and given up.  That we have to look at all of our hurts and pain of the past and present and always remember that the joy of Sunday is coming.  Wow, another message meant for me!   I was good to go.

As I gathered my coat and scarf to leave the church house, a young man approached me.  “Are you Trina Walker from Austin?”.  I said, yes, and apologized for not knowing him.  He gave me his name and reminded me that we attended the same church in Austin.  Right then I knew the Father had heard my frustration, loves me and has it all under control.  As soon as he said his name, I remembered him.  He is a chiropractor.  As my massage buddies know, a massage therapist can work in a chiropractor’s office without a license. After I told him about my career change, looking for an office to rent and the possible delay in the issuance of my license, he told me that he had contacts with rooms to rent…..  

God is so good.  :-)

 

The Price of Freedom = Faith (Part 1)

Work was very stressful the past few years.  Too much to do and not enough time and resources to get them done. Working 50+ hours a week was my normal, but I was making a great salary and bonuses, so I really couldn't complain could I?  It turns out that I should have.  My blood pressure, blood sugar and weight were all going up.  At the end of the day and on weekends I was so emotionally drained that I barely moved.  On the outside I was driven and successful.  On the inside I was dying and headed straight for a stroke or heart attack.

The end of the line happened in February of this year.  It doesn't matter what the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was.  It only matters that it happened and I knew I had to leave the job.  What was a 49 year old girl with no college degree supposed to do?  I looked for jobs in the same field daily. I must have applied for at least 10 jobs every week, but with no results.  Everyday my co-workers saw the dissatisfaction on my face and I grew angrier with myself for staying at one company for too long.

All my life I knew I was meant to help people, but those jobs don't usually pay well and I was a single mother with a daughter to raise. Well, my daughter is now an adult working on her Masters degree so that was no longer an excuse.  But I had grown accustomed to my 1 to 2 cruises a year and not living from paycheck to paycheck as I had done after the divorce.  So I had to dig deep inside to see what needed to be done. As I continued to pray for a way out, one day I saw a beautiful field of flowers along the expressway.  They thrived and bloomed in the midst of concrete and exhaust fumes.  It reminded me of one of my favorite Bible passages. 

Don't Worry, Matthew 6:28-33

²⁸“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well

The office environment was not going to change.  It had only gotten worse every year.  God was not going to magically lift me out of the job and place me in a new stress free job with the same pay.  No, I would have to walk out on my own knowing that I had honored God and our relationship through the good times and the bad.  I would have to leave knowing that He knew my true heart's intention to live a life where I would touch people's lives in a significant way.  I would have to leave the job with both eyes closed.  Stepping out on Faith into the unknown and trust that God would make it all turn out right.

To Be Continued.....